April 11, 2001
Venue: McMenamin's Rock Creek Tavern
City: Hillsboro, OR
This may have been the first time I've ever loaded equipment in through a former chicken coop, but I can't substantiate that claim. Library Joe's in Baton Rouge might have been a chicken coop at one point too for all I know.
I enjoyed puzzles as a child. That's probably why I get such a kick out of trying to figure out small sound systems. The Rock Creek Tavern is a super nice club. It's also one of those clubs that, upon your arrival, gives you a pile of cords, speakers and mixer heads and basically tells you to "go for it". Frankly, I enjoy the challenge. Rock Creek offered some fascinating twists too! For instance, there were two speakers mounted near the ceiling, but three speaker cords hanging down in a bundle. Also, there were 2 monitors but no additional speaker cords. Lastly, there were a grand total of 2 powered outputs on the mixer amp. I won't bore you with the details of my solution to this logistical quandary, but I assure you it was sheer genius.
We were supervised all evening by an eight year old boy who was eating dinner there with his family. Naturally, he was appointed as honorary roadie. The best part of the evening was when he held his hands over his ears indicating that we were playing too loud. I informed him that if we were too loud, he was too old, but I don't think I convinced him.
Our designated time slot was 8:00pm - 11:00pm, so I already knew we would need to fudge a little time at the beginning and the end. We played almost everything we knew and it felt like a long show. I'm told that we only really played for about an hour and fifteen minutes. I guess that's the problem when your songs average only about two minutes in length. Phooey.
April 17, 2001
Venue: Mt. Tabor Pub
City: Portland, OR
We got a glowing endorsement from the Willamette Week and were declared an official "WW Pick" for this performance at the Mt. Tabor. It makes me wonder if it's easier to be named a pick when you play on a Tuesday night. The Countess and I put up our first flyers in Portland (in the rain, no less) in preparation for this show. I'm not sure how much either of these factors affected the turnout. It was probably our largest Portland crowd to date, but it was also the biggest room we've played in around here, so it still seemed a bit sparse.
Frankly, I don't recall much of the actual performance. It's kind of a blur. I'm pretty sure it actually happened though. That's what everyone tells me anyway. I remember that we started playing. Then I seem to remember that we were done. Since I don't wear a watch anymore it's difficult to keep track of these temporal matters.
In any event, it's always an extreme pleasure to share a bill with the Sauvie Island Moon Rocket Factory. Did I mention that the Mt. Tabor Pub has hands-down the best equipment service entrance of any club we've played in Portland? Sweet. In the end, we earned a whopping $9 per band and a stack of leftover pizza slices. That's one step closer to financial security any way you look at it.
April 28, 2001
Venue: KPSU Studio - Live Broadcast
City: Portland, OR
Being as we only got to play 20 minutes of our set on our previous KPSU performance, Trevino invited us back to finish it. This time, Derek the soundguy was only 30 minutes late instead of an hour late, so it didn't have a huge effect on our start time. We debuted a couple of numbers live on the radio, which might not have been the best idea in retrospect. We were also doing an internet simulcast, so I'm sure we completely confused some unsuspecting web surfer in Papau New Guinea.
The Portland State University student center was bustling with activity as usual. There was a "multicultural" party setting up one floor above us that gave the Countess and me, two very white looking people, by the way, very suspicious looks when we poked our heads in the door. A couple of floors above that was the gay prom, organized specifically so that same-gender couples can experience an adolescent rite of passage (one that always stuck me as kind of silly to start with) without being subjected to leers from their hate mongering classmates. They were positively adorable.
. . 
April 29, 2001
Venue: Ash Street Saloon
City: Portland, OR
This may have been the first time I've shared the bill with a band named after a sexual position, but I can't substantiate that claim. Twobanger, Synthetic Flying Machine, and Undersea Apartment might be the names of sexual positions for all I know.
The first band, Reverse Cowgirl, was thoroughly rocking and quite hilarious as well. Excellent stage moves and general hair rock bravado. Definitely go see them if you have the opportunity.
The soundguy at Ash Street turned out to be a former bass player in C. Baker's former band the Lean-tos (or as I prefer to call them, the Leantos). Mr. soundguy had a falling-out of sorts with the Lean-tos while making drunken and overly suggestive comments on the subject of C. Baker's girlfriend. Not exactly a shining example of rock 'n' roll etiquette and diplomacy. He's one of those soundguys who offers to record your set, and when you accept, starts to outline his recording fees. I forget the exact figures, but you could get the cheap recording, or the more expensive recording. I guess if you ask for the cheap recording he sets a jam box on a table and presses "record". I don't know. I opted to decline his services.
May 11, 2001
Venue: The Medicine Hat Gallery
City: Portland, OR
Finally, some quasi-interesting moments of drama-lite occur at one of our shows. Things had been going way too smoothly lately. I thought I might have to give up writing these tour diaries lest they become mind-numbingly boring. It might be too late for that.
Radix began the evening in characteristally hilarious and thought-provoking form. Apparently the Mayor of Assville U.S.Ass knows more than one song, this one a jaunty tune tracing the origins of the term "motherfucker" to times of American slavery. Next up was the tasty rock flavorings of Avenue of the Strongest. Playing third was Flophouse Palace, who played a set of songs entirely from a new, soon to be released cd.
I took the stage wrapped in a red rope light that we picked up at an after-Christmas sales event (what the hell is a "sales event"?). The initial whiffs of ozone and melting plastic were wafting into my nostrils just as the Alamo, my occasionally trusty guitar amp, started making disturbing gurgling noises. Undaunted, we played the next song without the guitar. Let's just say, from that point on I was positively daunted. The Flophouse lead guitarist let me use his amp and the show was back on the road, or at least the shoulder. Between forgetting the basic roadmap to songs, my inability to tune a guitar and a temporary absence of inner ear balance, the set was quite a roller coaster ride. Correct lyrics were out of the question. I was a bit dismayed by our performance at first, but the audience response was quite positive. The more I think about it, the sheer entertainment value must have been through the roof. Maybe, I should stumble around like an unprofessional guitar wielding wacko more often.
Teddy Bear Satan says...