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online home of the Portland, Oregon pop band Ross and the Hellpets. Join our email list! Write to hellpets@hotmail.com with the subject "subscribe" JUST POSTED: I've been covered! Portland's Bull Dozers recorded "Stickum Tree". Hear their version here. Hear the original here. JUST POSTED: My new EP available for free download! You can even sample it! JUST POSTED: A YouTube video of me playing "Pepper" solo at a coffee shop! (scroll down) THE NEW ALBUMS ARE NOW AVAILABLE!!! Order them from cdbaby.com HERE and HERE. Click HERE for the Country/Optimism albums one-sheet Click HERE for Hellpets band one-sheet. Tourdates/Shows: Thursday 08/07/08: The Show and Tell Gallery - Portland, OR A free, mellow First Thursday gallery performance by our alter-egos, The Loungepets. We play at 8pm. 625 NW Everett St. #231 -- ALL AGES Saturday 08/09/08: The Twilight Cafe & Bar - Portland, OR 10pm: with Quick Brown Fox (8pm), The Contestants (9pm), The Wherewithalls (11pm), and Qwong (midnight). 1420 SE Powell Blvd. -- 21 and over. Click HERE for a list of past tourdates. 
NOW AVAILABLE! ross beach - country a new solo release from a bouncing space recordings 
NOW AVAILABLE! ross and the hellpets - optimism the long-awaited full length from a bouncing space recordings Random Updates - The Unreliable Blog: 08/09/08 We've actually played a couple of shows since the last time I updated this site! I've been busy with PDX Pop Now, and also with completing my new solo disc. It has a Portland theme, so stay tuned. 03/08/08 Here's a video of me playing at my house party in January. Also, the new album is currently being mixed by Mike Merriam, and I'm starting to think about the new, new album. 03/07/08 01/01/08 Happy New Year, everybody! I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. I just posted a couple new mp3s. My song "Stickum Tree" has been covered by Portland band Bull Dozers, and it's quite good. Hear their version here. Hear my original version here. I posted a couple of "shows", and also the potential of shows. Meanwhile, my current recording project is slowly plodding along. Ah, scheduling. 11/06/07 Okay, so as blogs go, mine is a joke. Remember the recording project I mentioned in May? I'm still working on it and have begun planning the next two. I'm entering my second year as President of the Board for PDX Pop Now, which is a purely administrative title, but it's fun to say. The Hellpets are still all practiced up...not that we have anything booked or anything. Life continues to be weird, in mostly the good ways. My Halloween costume this year was dashing as hell. I'm still not a fan of standard time. I've had a great year at the plate playing softball. I've recently become aware of some legitimate uses for Bacardi 151. The quasi-famous music producer Jon Brion puts on an incredible solo performance that you should check out if you find yourself in Los Angeles. Tube microphones take longer to warm up in the wintertime. There's something to be said for a well-prepared bowl of mac and cheese. We should all spend more time with friends. The Portland State football team has no defense. The longer the campsite hike-in, the less likely that other people will be there. Local food is becoming rare. That doesn't quite bring us up to date, but it'll have to do. 05/14/07 It's mid-May and this this my first entry of 2007... That new record I'm working on must be great, eh? Here are my official excuses. Been hard at work on a new recording project (a departure...details to follow someday). Been putting the finishing touches on my solo EP for Love Harder which comes out officially this Friday and that will be available for free download on this website. Been working on some new Hellpets material. Been completely drained by the experience of dealing with issues surrounding the arrangement of a venue for PDX Pop Now! 2007. You think I was jaded before? Some of the unprofessionalism I've encountered in the last four months has made me worse. There's more, but this isn't the forum. I played to the largest audience of my life a few weeks ago. There were approximately 15,000 people in attendance at a peace rally and march on the park blocks in downtown Portland on March 18th. We busted out all of our anti-war, anti-corruption, anti-Bush songs for a full-on protest set. Of course, our timeslot was just as the march part was beginning, so we mostly played to the backs of people's heads as the walked away from the stage down the parade route. I'm told that there were plenty of older people covering their ears in a not-so-subtle protest of our musical genre. Awesome. Here's a photo. Be sure to check out that YouTube video of me playing "Pepper" at a coffee show on NE Broadway in Portland a few years ago. It was shot by Chris Piuma of the Minor Thirds. 12/13/06 My universe lost two extraordinary people in the last three weeks. I hadn't been in touch with either for a few years, but they were the sort of people by whom I knew I would always be welcomed. Both were artists, painters and musicians. I doubt that either had health insurance. Glenn Kennedy of Monroe, Louisiana was my bandmate in an improvisational avant-jazz band called The Third Eye. Prior to that, his band "Pete", played five house parties in my Ruston, La. living room. He was a noted muralist who was probably best known for an ornate painting he did on the ceiling of a downtown Monroe church. He had an incredible dry wit and he never ceased to make me think. Also, he had great taste in women. Will Westbrook of Athens, Georgia played with me in early lineups of The Gerbils and Clay Bears. He collected bizarre photographic and musical equipment, hosted nickel-ante poker games, and once had a porch sale that lasted a month. He had an irrespressible enthusiasm and was constantly introducing me to new things. I've had three of his artworks up in my house for the last 10 years. They were class assignments that he was planning on throwing away, but they're great. You guys are already missed. 11/07/06 The unreliable blog continues living up to its name. I know there are people who read this site, so my apologies for the lack of activity. It's not idleness, I assure you. I've been focusing on a variety of projects, some music related and some not. Two weeks ago, I finished recording a new solo EP, to be released on Jack Tuftee's Love Harder record label this January. Mike Merriam is currently mixing and mastering the tracks in Miami, FL. My computer is at the shop for some maintenance before I begin work on my next two major recording projects. I have a huge new batch of songs that I'm excited about. The Hellpets will be coming out of hibernation soon. Really. 08/07/06 Well, another year of helping to organize PDX Pop Now is finally over and it's time to finish some of those outstanding projects...whatever they were. There are approximately three albums that I need to record, but that requires going down into the basement and it's just too nice outside for that. Then, in a few months, it'll be far too cold to go into the basement. And besides, there are sooo many DVDs I need to watch. Does the world really need more music anyway? Okay, probably. It's also time for me to work on some long-neglected personal matters...whatever those were. Anyone remember? Oh, you're probably not talking to me now. It's also time to get ready for more festivals of local music! My fellow PDX Pop Now organizers and I have long said that if you didn't like the way our festival is, then join us or start your own festival. At least two groups have taken that to heart: The "We Made This" Festival and "Halleluwah", taking place in the next month at the 9th Street Public House and the Disjecta, respectively. Consider me there. The Hellpets are playing a basement show on August 12th to celebrate our friend Amanda's Sweet 16...though, she's married, so from a legal standpoint I'm assuming she's at least slightly older. Then, on the 18th, I'm playing a solo show with my friend Adam at a coffee shop near NE 20th and Sandy. Speaking of birthdays, I had a great party this year. Thanks much to The Minor Thirds, Nick Jaina and Ali Ippolito for filling the house with sound. Duetting with Anne Adams at 3am was a pretty big thrill too. 05/03/06 I just got back from jazzfest in New Orleans where things were refreshingly upbeat. Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Costello and Ani Difranco were predictably, and thankfully, critical of the federal government's inept handling of the hurricane aftermath. Bob Dylan might have been too, except it was impossible to tell what he was saying. The city of my birth showed some distinct signs of progress since November, when I last visited, but things are still generally effed up. Last week, the Portland Mercury was nice enough to plug a recent Neutral Milk Hotel book for which I was interviewed as well as our new tour diary. They also made mention of a solo show at Mississippi Pizza on Monday night, but I wasn't there. I'd been offered the show, but had to turn it down because of my trip. I didn't see the paper until I got back, so I apologize if it caused any inconvenience. I'm in the listings this week for Saturday night at Porky's on N. Lombard, but I've just received word that the bar has a new owner and has called off all of the scheduled live entertainment. What the business strategy of this is, I couldn't say. In more "actually happening" live music news, we've booked a show at Acme for July 7th. I'm told that the outdoor patio stage will be complete by then, so it's going to be a lantern-lit, rock'n'roll luau of epic proportions. The rest of the lineup is to be announced. 04/18/06 Much, much going on, as always! (though I'm sure it's hard to tell from reading this websiteÉ) Firstly, the diary and photos from the Curious Pets '06 northwest tour are almost ready to post. With any luck, you'll be vicariously rocking your way through the obscure northwestern regions of your subconscious by the end of the week. Nextly, I'm gearing up for a brand spanking new recording project. More news on that later, unless I decide that it's simply too top secret! Lastly, I'd like to announce the 2006 Ross and the Hellpets "Five Quadrants" tour of Portland, Oregon. We will be playing one show a month for the next five months, hitting each of our city's five beautiful quadrants in clockwise order. We begin on May 6th, playing the North quadrant with our insanely talented friends Quality Name Brand. Then, June 17th as the debut rock show of the Driftwood Bar in the scenic Northeast quadrant. And, to those who would write to point out the impossibility of there being any other number of quadrants besides four, I can only say: Welcome to Portland! According to certain locals, we have six. 03/17/06 What I've been doing: 1. Mailing 288 copies of Optimism to college and community radio stations. 2. Rocking out to an enthusiastic and appreciative audience in Vancouver, Washington. 3. Sending press releases to papers and radio stations along the route of the April 2006 Curious Pets mini-tour. 4. Having a few press releases returned to my house because the post office forgot to apply the postage sticker. 5. Being struck with awe at the beauty of Natural Bridges, the delightfulness of Alan Singley + Pants Machine, the unbridled passion of Curious Hands and the tastiness of Captured By Porches. 6. Working on the PDX Pop Now 2006 compilation and festival. 7. Working on new songs and plotting some new albums. 8. Seeing Robyn Hitchcock and the Minus 5 rock out at the Doug Fir. 9. Being narrowly defeated in a contest of Academy Award predictions. 10. Planning trips to Louisiana. 11. Being blown away by the hard rock stylings of LKN and the trance-y, if largely pre-recorded, sonic layers of Talkdemonic. 12. Sending follow-up emails to college radio music directors. 13. Cooking(!). 14. Witnessing the brilliance of Stuart Valentine and Please Step Out Of The Vehicle. 15. Sitting in on drums with The Mouse That Roared at a house party. 16. Watching my friend Tyler play in 8 different bands in a single night. 17. Forgetting to update my website. 02/14/06 Many thanks to my hundred closest Portland friends who attended and performed at the 2nd Annual Electro-coustic, sit-down, hoe-down of sound at the Beach House a couple of weeks ago. I had a fantastic time and, if the feedback is any indication, so did everyone else. Tyler Riggs songs were biting and insightful. Sean Brooks songs were understated and beautifully desolate. The Minor Thirds were fun and overflowing with their usual literary wit. And Per Se was as gorgeous and emotionally devastating as ever. I can't remember how many times someone came up to me that night saying, "Wow. I'd never seen [blank] before!" Special thanks go out to Sean for bringing his P.A. and also to Zeb from Captured By Porches for bringing over some of his delicious craft brews. Of course, the main point was just to have a bunch of friends over for drinking and listening to musicians, followed by the inevitable blaring dance party. We've now scientifically established that if you skip to tracks 2, 5, 6, 8, 10 and 16 on Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me by The Cure, it's the greatest dance record of all time. Good thing I rolled up the rug! The beer, wine, liquor bottles, mixers, and hors d'oeuvres magically lasted all night, yet had been completely consumed by the time the last guests left around 3:30. I'm also happy to report that it only took three hours of Burgerville-fueled cleanup to return my house to its normal state. Several people have commented that I need to throw more than one party a year. I'm considering that. Pictures coming soon... In much less fun news, Jake Anderson (Minor Thirds, Celesteville, Yuma Nora, etc, etc.) was rushed to the hospital for emergency gall-bladder surgery last week. Complications kept him in the hospital for an entire week. Like most musicians in this country, he has no health insurance. If you'd like to make a donation to defray some of his crazy expenses, go to PayPal and send some money to jake@tapemountain.com. 01/19/06 Estereo! My lovely Louisiana friend Skip and his cadre of bay area troubadours came through town last weekend and put on a gorgeous musical display at the Towne Lounge. Then, they stayed over at the rock hostel and we had a nice homemade blueberry pancake brunch in the morning. They were too polite to mention that they'd had blueberry pancakes the previous morning. If you like sparse, subdued and gorgeous music, I highly suggest you request a copy of their cd. It's homemade and cheap! Here are some pictures I stole from Skip's MySpace page... Los Hellpetos del Norte.  El Estereo.  Yumminess, warmth and showers at the rock hostel.  Opening the show was Day of Lions (aka Gena) whose music was equally gorgeous! She lives here in Portland, not that you'd know it since she actually spends months at a time doing solitary solo tours around the country. We played the middle slot at the Towne Lounge and, once again, generated as much fun as any band who sings about war and corruption. Frankly, I'm thinking of switching back to love songs. New Towne Lounge booker Chantelle Hylton was in attendance and told me that my band made her "want to go out more". I chose to quit while I was ahead rather than ask for an explanation. Meanwhile, our two new albums continue to move copies thanks to cdbaby word of mouth. Check them out here and here! Lastly, we're finally planning another tour: a four-day affair into the rainy north with our pdx pals Curious Hands. More details to follow. And speaking of the rainy north, we're invading the state of Washington, if just barely, next month as we open for Minmae at the 15th Street Pub in the 'Couv. I've seen quite a few kick-ass local shows lately. A delirious Per Se charmed the Doug Fir on the day Anne twisted her ankle, leaving her to hop precariously from one microphone to the next. At that same show, I had my senses slayed by the expanded lineup of The Sort-Ofs. My friend Chris Piuma of The Minor Thirds gave a hilarious poetry reading at the downtown Borders bookstore, one poem of which will probably be in the liner notes of my next album. Captain Bogg & Salty did their usual thing with their usual skill at Dante's. Levi, bassist of Heroes and Villains, performed his debut solo set at Berbati's Pan before being joined onstage by this H&V bandmates Adam and Scott (who I swear sounded just like George Hurley from the Minutemen). This was followed by the high-energy enthusiasm of Sounds Like Fun. 01/05/06 Much has been going on Hellpet-wise. The Countess spent a month in India, acquiring along the way a harmonium, which will shortly become a prominent component of our sound. We played a great show at the Acme in early December with Curious Hands and The Odditors. My solo show at Mississippi Pizza with Ana Cooke and Jesus Burger got snowed out. Along with The Draft and Binary Dolls, we celebrated the release of our CD at the Doug Fir, delivering what some people described to me as our best, most high-energy performance ever. We helped ring in the new year with Minmae and Ape Shape at a packed and raucous basement show, complete with three kegs of beer and explosives -- a combination I wholeheartedly endorse. The Hellpets bust out with a cover-heavy subterranean party set.  The Countess Von Hellpet associating with famous rockers in North Portland.  Me associating with soon-to-be famous rockers in North Portland.  Then, yesterday we were savaged in a Willamette Week concert review by Mark Baumgarten, a man who I've played many softball games with, who has used me multiple times as an ear for his personal woes, and who, last time I saw him, took a flying, drunken hug at me at Pt. Juncture's Wonder Ballroom show. All that aside, you'd think he would at least make the editorial choice to *not* write about a small-time local band that he thinks sucks. His main points seemed to be: 1) We didn't maintain a big enough crowd at 11pm on the Wednesday night after Christmas. 2) The audience we had was not enthusiastic enough. 3) I play too many eighth and sixteenth notes for his taste. 4) The Countess can't sing. He put it considerably more harshly. "Oh, there's the phone again. Probably another person who pities me," remarked the Countess during rehearsal that night. "At least it's a good picture." "No, it's not!" We recalled our friend Kimberly, the San Diego-based lesbian spoken-word performer. She received a vicious newspaper review a few months ago asserting that her act was cliched, dated, boring and a number of other choice assessments. On the upside, they also reported that she was "pretty". For weeks afterward, people would come up to her saying they saw her in the paper. No one seemed to remember the content of the article. Thank goodness for the embarrassingly short American memory! Many people offered unsolicited opinions about our performance at the Doug Fir. Quite a few of them were from strangers. They all differed dramatically from Mark's opinion. Then again, Mark gets paid for his opinion. I guess he showed us, or something. I did accidentally hit his housemate in the side with a softball last year, so maybe it was that. 11/08/05 Hellpetoween was a blast! Thanks to everyone who risked their tasty brains by coming out. Here's a haunting image... 
Click HERE to read more.  NOW AVAILABLE!You Make It Look So Easy the new full-length CD from Ross Beach! New for 2003 from A Bouncing Space Recordings. Order it HERE for only $10 ppd!  ALSO
AVAILABLE!Teddy Bears Gone Bad the debut CD from Ross and the Hellpets! Order it online for only $7 ppd in the U.S. (int'l rates vary) Here are reviews from Splendid e-Zine and SPONIC.
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Teddy Bear Satan says...